Johnny has been performing stand-up comedy for the past 25 years appearing all across the country. He has been Emmy Nominated for his appearance on Hot Summer Nights. He has also worked as a guest host on WICC. In his spare time Johnny has been going on yearly expeditions to the Upper Amazon River in search of the legendary Yage Vine elixer.

   Several times Johnny has come close to being shot by blowguns as he ran from one safe village to a hostile one and back again. He worked in the Black Market selling barrells of untaxed coconut oil before being forced to flea Sicily. Once in Sicily Johnny began tracing his family roots on a very slow dial-up modem which took him fifteen years. It was also in Sicily that Johnny met the love of his life Marisa Touchamiarz, a myopic beauty with an unquenchable taste for anchovie.

   Soon after a brief relationship of only five days, Marisa died in a bizarre fire. Some say it was caused by the anchovie scented breath and a local methane leak. Johnny wandered all over Europe in search of an answer. Setting sail from the France Johnny caught a freighter to take him to New Jersey to purchase a lottery ticket. A ticket that Johnny thought would change his life. It did, it made him a dollar broker.

   It was then, in his poverty, that Johnny had an epiphany : "How do I tell my best friend his daughter is hot?"